I haven't legit posted in this blog for a long time. All of the posts have been stuff I've written for class, or assignment posts. I kind of want to keep a steady flow of voluntary posts in here too...BUT SCHOOL HAS DECIDED TO FIGHT MEEEEE. yeah.
I think I like this course more and more as it goes on. Truthfully, I was kind of dreading it before the school year started. I opened up the letter from school and my heart dropped down to my stomach when I saw "Writing Fiction." I can write literature analysis. I can write journal entries (cause no-no-no-no-nooooooooooobody else can see them). But fiction is a whole nuther planet, darling. And the idea of sharing my creative writing just made me cringe. Literary analysis is more professional, it's based off of another person's work. But something that I bring life to myself seems....much more likely to appear deformed, wrong, weird, boring, dull to others. I'm still dreading the writing workshop. I have no idea what kind of short story I'm supposed to write. I'm used to responding to prompts and whatnot....As you can probably tell, my writing gets pretty incoherent once I decide to write voluntarily and RRRRRamble away to the stars!!!
oh dear. unbelievable.
This is also sort of how I am with my college essay. I don't know how i'm supposed to write this darn thing. And it's awkward when I need to share it with other people for edits. It's supposed to be such a personal, "this is me" sort of piece, but the more people look at it, the more they ogle it, I feel like i need to make it less and less and less personal so I can shield myself from their laser-eyes.
I wonder when I stopped writing fiction. That last sentence implies that at one point and enjoyed and consistently wrote made-up stories....which i did! I was cleaning out my desk, and I found my book of ridiculous stories from when I was 4 or 5 or 6. Haha, it was amusing. but haha, if anyone saw it I think I would be quite, quite humiliated.
My stories were crazy (awesome)! But i am not posting them on the internet. Oh-no, no-no, no-no-no-no-nooooooo. I suspect my stories reflect my state of mind at the time. I also suspect, from the sort of drawings I still draw on the computer, that my mind has not left it's childish state.
...I like my mind that way :)
hahaha~
ReplyDeletethat's the hard thing about truth. i find myself in the same dilemma about the college essays--it's just so hard being vulnerable! i know i hate that feeling, although sometimes there is amazing payout. people who see that side of you and still accept you as you are are truly your friends. (too many "yous" in that sentence. OPS.)