A Scarlet Letter?!?!? No.......i tricked you.

Just a random letter to myself in the ridiculous hours of the morning.

Dear You,

Or rather, Dear Me. It’s kind of confusing for me to write to myself.

….or It’s kind of confusing for me to write to you?.....whatever.

I wonder when you’ll read this next. Tomorrow? Then you’ll probably not care about this letter. Next week? Same thing. Next month? Whatevah. Next year? You’ll probably have your college apps (WHICH YOU SHOULD BE WORKING ON RIGHT NOW BY THE WAY) turned in and the results back by then, and seriously regretting you ever wrote this. In a few years? You will probably be thinking that I am (you were) very very very very very strange and stupid. And you know what else? It’s currently 2:03. In the morning. Why do I do this to myself? I hope you don’t still do this to yourself, if you’re reading this a long from now. I’m going to assume you’re reading this a long time from now. This staying-up-super-late (early?) deal is bad for your health, along with the instant noodles and Clif Bars I bet you’re eating still just about every other day.

Tell me, is it really that difficult for you to just focus for a set amount of time everyday? And then you can do whatever you want and have free time, right?

Ugh.

Focusing is so difficult.

Let me tell you something else that’s stupid. I CURRENTLY ENJOY AND HATE BEING AWAKE AT 2:00 IN THE MORNING…..AT THE SAME TIME. If you’ve broken this awful habit by now, you are probably shaking your head and tsk-tsk-ing at my patheticness. If you’re seriously still being a night owl, you suck, but you probably still agree with me. (This you-me business confuses me, let’s assume you and I are different people. So that I can stop referring to myself as your past. @_@)

It’s quiet. And Mom is asleep. Or rather, for you, mom isn’t even at the college, so you’re left unmonitored, always! So you’re free to go on the internet, download music, draw, whatever—all the crap I like doing by spamming alt+tab whenever Mom leaves during the day for all of FIVE MINUTES. Just don’t wake up your roommate with the powerful FORCE OF YOUR CONCENTRATION while you kill monsters on Ragnarok. and with the sound of incessant clicking.

No?

Seriously?

You spend the entire day not focusing and messing around, and now you’re going to work?

What?

You’re not even going to work?!?!?!

You’re just going to sit there, doing nothing, aren’t you.

But I guess that’s okay. It’s good to sit there, doing nothing for a while sometimes. Give yourself a break. Take time to think about things. Figure out where the heck you’re going. I sure am doing it a lot right now.

Look outside. Aren’t the streets awfully empty? Let me correct myself. It’s not awful—I kind of like how empty the streets are right now. But maybe it’s not as quiet where you are now. Maybe you’re in a huge city that never sleeps, and you can hear the traffic outside. The only traffic I ever get at night is the Panera truck that comes at about 1:30AM every morning with fresh bread to stock, so I can be sure that Panera is legit. If you hear honking outside at the moment and people singing randomly in the streets, please close your windows, shut off that fan, and try to remember how things were like here. At least somewhere in the world, you know it’s quiet, that somewhere out there you used to feel like the only person awake, right? Right.

Just imagine it. Imagine it, and go wherever you'd like. Do you like where you are?

Do you like what you're doing with your life right now?

I hope you do. I’m worried for you. Use your intuition! All that studying would be pointless if you ended up doing something you hate, wouldn't it? And don't get discouraged. Beat those books! Fight that test! Wake up in the morning (feeling like p. diddy) as soon as your alarm starts blasting Big Bang (I hope you still like them). Kick the bathroom door open in the morning before you brush your teeth! And maybe, if you're not too caught up in the Here and Now, you should remember this letter and read it. I read a letter I wrote to myself when I was five recently. It was awesome and extremely embarrassing hearing Mom read it out loud. Why does she dig through my stuff like that!?!?!

Anyways, I bet you’re reading this instead of studying for some all-important final, so I’m going to cut my letter short in order to force you to get a grip on yourself and work now. Also, I’ll be working on my college app, so you can just imagine both of us working at the same time! Although what I’m doing right now is affecting where you are, at the moment. @_@.

Strange.